Category: Reflections

Reflections

Someday I’ll Go Far

Posted on by Anita Shero

Not only in races, but also in life. I invariably need to focus and re-focus to achieve great things. Let the Boston Marathon be that reminder for me every year.

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Hurrah to the 20,000 pounds of clothing collected this year! I saw sneakers and earbuds and jackets and fleeces be donated to the Big Brother Big Sister Foundation. Not a record, but not bad for one day’s worth either. Happy early earth day!

What’s Your Story?

If there’s one question I’d ask the runners there, that’d be it. While what you say is telling, even how you organize your thoughts and what details you choose to leave in or out is important.

Everyone has a story. So what’s yours?

Only those who risk going too far can find out how far one can go.
— T.S. Eliot

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Celebrate Wins

Go Shed Your Deadweight

Posted on by Anita Shero

When something bogs me down over time, I inevitably reach a breakpoint — not to be confused with a breaking point. I don’t give way. Instead, I pivot and change.

I won’t go into the psychology behind this, but vacuuming all my carpets has given me an extra hop in my steps. The house looks brighter, the air feels cleaner, and my mind seems less cluttered. This is the kind of placebo effect I can get used to. Once I’ve vacuumed the floor, I start organizing items to continue the cleaning streak. One week’s worth of trash? Out the door. Piles of books on the coffee table? I’ll organize them by topic and place the easy reads closer to me so that I can return them sooner. Refrigerator filling up? Make a tub-full of no-cooking-required salad.

Lists are definitely the way to go when it comes to stopping procrastination in its tracks by reflecting on what I’d like done. Wash dishes? Check. Do laundry? Check. Workout for an hour? Check.

More Than Chores, Exercise the Mind

Can is a powerful word, and so is can’t. Ever heard of this quote:

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t— you’re right.”
— Henry Ford

Taming my inner voice, that’s what I want. I’m currently having trouble keeping in check is my self-talk and other thoughts. I stepped on a scale today and silently thought, “Really? Whoops.” One distinct moment that helped trigger these types of thoughts was when the fitness instructor spoke about burning inches off the waist and how it’s bikini season. I don’t get self-conscious with those comments so much as I grow heightened awareness that I didn’t appreciate these types of unintentionally, body-shaming comments. Yet I internalize them.

Mind over matter, right?

Now I’m listening to Reset by BTS Tiger JK — I wanna reset.  Queue more music — Try by Colbie Caillat.

And… now back to meditation. And later, planning for the Biggest Loser challenge.

Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.
— Arthur Ashe

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Failure, Physical

No Need to Panic (Anymore)

Posted on by Anita Shero

I hit the panic button and didn’t reset it for the past few weeks. So what happened?

I had started out the week with a half marathon in early March, in 35 degree weather, in 25 mph winds, along a beach in Rhode Island. The winds were howling down at Misquamicut, to the extent that the race organizers were unable to put up the finish line arch or any standup signage/mile markers. My coworker was worried sick about me and exclaimed (at least my take on it) that I was dead. Given that I received whiplashes of frostbite and went into a deep sleep the next day, he was half-right. More to come about the Ocean’s Run half in another post.

When I gathered enough strength to do more than lounge about the house, I devoured one of my favorite breads, Trader Joe’s cranberry pecan pull aparts. All six in one sitting, and yet I still wanted more. My next craving turned into bowlfuls of American chop suey, simply because it was available. My ravenous streak continued with eating a family size bag of Utz sour cream chips — in one sitting, after dinner. It struck again earlier this week when I ate half a loaf of bread with multiple spreads of délice de Bourgogne (creamy brie cheese!).

Of course, all the while I have been exercising. My net weight loss in the past three weeks is about 0-1lb. Surprised? So was I.

In part, it’s because my meals lately have been vegetarian or even vegan. Aside from the chop suey, I might’ve eaten three slices of leftover pork chop or a bite of beef pot roast while I was cooking. During St. Patrick’s week, cabbage was ridiculously cheap. On my own, I had 5 heads of cabbage in a week and a half. My dinner could’ve consisted of 2/3 of a cabbage and three eggs, and I’d be satiated for a while. If anything came out of these past few weeks, it’s that I’ve added (red) cabbage to my eating repertoire.

TMI – The Unintended Effect of Too Much Information

Sometimes my eating episodes are triggered due to knowing information. With gadgets like the fitbit automatically tracking our activity and information at our fingertips via Google, it’s become easier to reason with ourselves. Thankfully, I don’t have any such gadget and only use Google Fit for tracking. Weighing myself at the gym has become addictive, but in a bad way. I’ll look at the scale, see numbers I haven’t seen in… ever, and then reason that I could make an exception (with eating aforementioned extras) here and there.

I’m not a calorie counter per se, but I do become curious about the foods I eat. Having rarely eaten cabbage before, I took a look at the nutrition facts and found that cabbage doesn’t have much in terms of calories. I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised, considering this applies to most leafy greens. What ends up happening, though, is that I say to myself that I can eat more.

To address these scenarios, perhaps what I need to do is ask myself a simple question: Am I really hungry?

Forget reasoning. I need to come back to the purpose, to the why.

Looking Ahead

I wasn’t kidding when I said from here on out that it’s mind over matter. In the past decade and more, my weight has never dipped to the low 120s. Maybe subconsciously my body’s fighting back. Whatever it is, I know it’ll continue to be an uphill battle. My only solace is that I’ve reset the panic button.

Today is another day. There’s another week to look forward to. Let’s make the best of it—

Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.
—Winston Churchill

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Exercise Philosophy, Physical

Making Excuses Burns Zero Calories

Posted on by Anita Shero

There’s a meme for it, and there’s a reason.

My quest to win Biggest Loser at work is still ongoing, and I’ve noticeably stalled lately. That is, I barely lost a quarter of a pound last week and was expecting to be eliminated. I worked out every single day, and sometimes twice a day. By the same token, unlike the first few weeks, I was also eating after every physical activity to recover (and add to a team challenge about showing what you’re eating) — whether I needed it or not is a different story.

My overall philosophy is: eat to train. Given my latest goal, I will need to temporarily tweak this. It makes sense in retrospect, so here’s my pivot point.

It’s Not About Diet And Exercise

So how am I magically shedding weight to begin with? I have a purpose.

Diet is a code word for meals with restrictions in some form or other. Exercise is an activity many people are not super enthusiastic about. Instead, I eat foods to fuel my muscles, and I train to build muscles so that I can remain active in the future. If I’m presented with food that I know won’t be good for my body, I can refer back to the goal to make an adjustment or even refuse. If I don’t find myself being active, I pull up Pharrell Williams’ Happy via Just Dance on youtube and dance (or maybe flail…) along. There’s nothing like ending the day on a happy note.

Believe it or not, I still indulge on things like four pieces of Trader Joe’s cranberry pecan pull apart’s. I take it as my body’s reaction to the more mindful eating that’s happening lately. The next step would be to acknowledge my body’s reaction and then let it pass. In the words of a previous supervisor I had, “This too shall pass.” Baby steps.

Weight Is A Series of Decisions, Not A Number

I was listening to the audiobook for Does This Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat? by Peter Walsh, and in a nutshell it focuses on the questions of where and why you eat. Decluttering your spaces like the kitchen and pantry will in turn help declutter your relationship with food. What he also emphasized was that weight shouldn’t be our focus, as weight carries with it underlying habits and allows us to berate ourselves for our imperfections. Barring genetics and our bodies’ physiology, weight is the culmination of the decisions we make daily.

For example, I bought chips and salsa for a party I thought I’d host but ended up not having enough time off to do so (I work on weekends). Now they’re sitting on a table that I pass by often, and it whittles down my willpower ever so slightly. By placing it in an unseen area, it’ll help, but it’s honestly still clutter. At this time, my resolve is to bring it to my work’s veggietecher meeting where people bring their vegetarian dishes to share. And there we go again — purpose. If everything had a clear purpose to it, wouldn’t we have less? In any case, the chips and salsa won’t be there for long, but it goes to show that a decision made in the past can influence the present.

By the way, he also agrees that there’s no set diet or exercise plan.

So What’s Your New Philosophy?

It’s: mind over matter.

I’m going to turn I think I can to I know I can. I’m stronger than I give myself credit for.

What’s your philosophy?

People spend too much time finding other people to blame, too much energy finding excuses for not being what they are capable of being, and not enough energy putting themselves on the line, growing out of the past, and getting on with their lives.
— J. Michael Straczynski

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Exercise Philosophy, Physical

Can slow and steady win the race?

Posted on by Anita Shero

It depends on the rules of the race and whether you’re set on winning at this one moment — this one race.

We started the Biggest Loser at work, and in 3 weeks I’ve lost 8 lbs so I’m back at my post-vacation weight. I’d like to think, though, that I lost 9 lbs because I’ve gained 1 lb in muscle. The burpee half mile was a first, and it was stupendous and stupid (because I could’ve hurt myself due to no preparation).

I’ve started off on a good note with the first battle, but here’s where the war starts. And there are a few wars going on here:

Although there’s no I in TEAM, there’s ME.

My team of 7 went from 1380 lbs total to 1356, with a difference of 24. Two people ended up not losing any weight. Knowing the percentage total weight loss of everyone and using basic math, I can deduct that my remaining four teammates lost between 2-7 lbs. It’s decent, but we lost.

Teams are great if everyone is invested in the process and sees the big picture. To be clear, I’m not laying blame on anyone. After all, we were grouped randomly and not everyone enjoys receiving texts from a coach telling them to do things (even I didn’t do what my coach encouraged us to do because I like doing my own thing). Additionally, we all have our own reasons for joining: to commit to being fit, to lose weight, to meet others and/or get to know them outside of work, to support a fellow friend (because our entry fee was donated to someone in need).

If I really wanted to win this race, I would’ve maintained my weight after working hard the first week (not knowing that the first week wouldn’t be an elimination week). Reason being, I can only lose so much weight in three months, and I’d be betting that someone on my team lost less weight percentage-wise. Of everyone who’s participating, I’ve been led to believe that I weigh the least. So if I lose the same number of lbs as someone else, I would’ve lost more weight percentage-wise. And since I’d be maintaining my weight, no one would have thought much about it. But I’d know. I’d know that I was only in this to win it, and I’d know that I wasn’t building lasting habits to sustain my weight loss.

Even if integrity and healthy habits weren’t the bottomline issue, it’s disturbing to hear how Biggest Loser participants who lose a lot of weight end up regaining their pounds after the show. There was even a NY Times article about how the body fights back against weight loss.

In any case, if I’m doing this for me, I’m going to do it in a way so that I can look back and be proud of what I’ve done.

So why did we lose the team battle?

In part, team psychology likely had to do with it. We had been provided the results of our second week into this, and my team was winning. Maybe we rested on our laurels. Maybe we trusted each other too much. Maybe the opposing team captain riled up his team (I can’t think of a reason why he wouldn’t). My guess is that if the results weren’t made available, my team would’ve won. Information is powerful, and we can see in TED talks that how we present information is key.

Or, I’m going to be honest here, it could be that I have a weak team captain. Even though we lost the team battle, I have yet to see a comeback let’s-get-our-game-face-on message, or any message at all. We’ll see what happens at the next weigh-in for elimination this week.

What happens after being eliminated?

The whole point of grouping us in teams is to encourage camaraderie and to motivate one another. Furthermore, I feel accountable to my team. But what if I’m eliminated?

Personally, I don’t like eliminations. It’s like going through the scenario where you “failed” and are now facing the consequence for what’s likely a minor setback in the grand scheme of things. At the same time, can it provide enough of a reason to reflect and make changes? I guess that depends on the person.

For the person who’s been eliminated from my team, or potentially even for me, I’d still want the team companionship. So I’m spearheading weekly challenges. This week’s focus is squats.

On Making Exercise a Habit — Slowly but Surely

Other than being excited to take a variety of fitness classes included with my gym membership (and is the main reason I joined a gym), I wanted a way to exercise without using the gym — especially on days when I oversleep or don’t feel like going to the gym. Here are a few ways I’ve come up with so far (check and check for today):

1.) Get up and moving with Just Dance

I’ve done this to warm up when it’s cold in the house, or when I need a pick me up in the morning. I don’t look nearly as good as the person on the screen, but at least I dance like no one’s watching.

2.) Trigger an automatic response to a location or action

I’m in the kitchen a lot because it’s in the middle of where I need to go and because I like eating. So I’m trying out a rule for this week’s challenge: if I’m in front of the refrigerator, I’m going to do 10 squats.

I’m also going to work on strengthening my wrist and forearms while reading. Why not, since I can have a hand or two free? This will help me with burpees later.

Back to the Bigger Question

Rather than asking, “Can slow and steady win the race?”, maybe we need to be asking ourselves, “Who do I want to become?” A shero to whom others (including myself) can look up  and relate.

A battle lost or won is easily described, understood, and appreciated, but the moral growth of a great nation requires reflection, as well as observation, to appreciate it.
—Frederick Douglass

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Exercise Philosophy, Half Marathons

Race to Be Last — On Perseverance

Posted on by Anita Shero

Going through a time of transition professionally and personally is rough, but we all make it through eventually and grow stronger because as a result. January was my wake up call. February will be my awakening.

On Mindfulness

Last month, I went to the library and borrowed a number of audiobook CDs from Jack Kornfield, simply because he had the most CDs on mindfulness and meditation. That way, I could listen on my way to work and get in my 15 minutes of mindfulness.

At its very core, breathe in, breath out — with intention.

I’ve come across exercises where you might stagger the breath out, or where you breathe in through one nostril and breathe out through the other nostril. The one I like involves breathing in for 7 seconds and breathing out for 7 seconds. It’s simple, it’s easy, and doing this 4 times amounts to just about a minute. Eventually I’ll work my way up to being mindful for longer, continuous periods of time. This is a good start.

Oh the memories…

After practicing mindfulness at a bare minimum, one of the first things I noticed at my next pilates class was that my right hand’s range in motion was relatively more limited than my left. I hadn’t realized that I didn’t fully recover after an accident about 4 years ago where someone t-boned me because he was only looking for traffic coming from the other side of the street. My car did a 180 and deployed its safety airbags. I got out of the car unscathed and didn’t feel any pain — until the next day.

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When I went to the hospital, the doctor examining me said that the pain is typical and that I’d recover after a few weeks, so long as I didn’t do any heavy lifting. At the time, I was taking a chemistry class, and to this day I remember tearing up a bit seeing how painful it was to pick up a test tube during lab. Because I took the class alongside a friend who I had met the previous semester and who wanted to stick it out with me, the decision to withdraw from the class was that much more difficult. I did it for me, and I have no regrets whatsoever.

For runners who don’t enjoy running regularly

Walk. Seriously, just walk. When I asked on a Facebook group what I could do if I enjoy the high of completing a half marathon but would rather take a gym class to stay fit than run, someone responded straightforwardly, “Running a half-marathon and not running very much don’t go together.”

For the remainder of this entry, please know that I do not endorse this across the board. What works for me does not work for everybody. You know your body best, so listen to your body.

If I have to run or jog somewhere, I need to have a purpose. I easily become bored running the same stretches on a short rail trail, or even running around to the same cluster of pokestops in Pokemon Go. You might say collecting items at pokestops could serve as the purpose, but can items in a virtual game truly help me achieve a higher purpose? I’ll jog and run to the library to return and borrow books, or the gym to take a class for health and wellness, or the grocery store or post office.  It’s uncannily similar to my philosophy on some weight training equipment that aren’t worth your time. Namely, if I’m training muscles that have no functional purpose, why would I do it in the first place?  For vanity? No thank you.

The other method to keep myself on track with my goal to be able to run a half marathon every year is to continue signing up for half marathons. I’m a stickler for making sure I get my money’s worth, so if I sign up for one, you’ll bet I’ll be there regardless of whether I’m ready for it. That’s what happened with the Chilly Willy in Seekonk, MA and the Boston Prep 16-miler in Derry, NH.

It’s The Climb

This song by Miley Cyrus pretty much sums up my race experience this past month.

Typically people gradually build up to be able to run a half marathon with training programs like couch to 5K. What did I do? I took a 3-month hiatus from the gym over the summer because I thought I’d run outside more in good weather. In September, I committed to taking various cardio classes at the gym at least 4 times a week. In October, I ran my second half marathon ever with some pain in my legs like I experienced at my first half marathon the year before. The day after I felt runner’s knees for the first time and had to work from home for the next few days. So make note, cardio classes are not a substitute for running.

I thought avoiding this kind of pain again was enough motivation for me to go out and run regularly for the next half marathons I signed up for, but my conviction to do so never materialized. Even when I signed up to run the 16-miler 3 months from when I signed up, I never made it a point to run regularly to prepare for the race. Miraculously I haven’t felt runner’s knees since. “How?” You might ask. It’s because I signed up for a number of 10Ks and half marathon’s along the way: one at the end of October, two at the beginning and end of November, one in mid-December, and then another on new year’s day. Again, I don’t recommend this for everyone.

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Thankfully these runs happened when the weather was unseasonably warm. This was me trying to take a picture of the Happy New Year sign and temperature of 44 degrees (F). I even decided last minute to leave my running gloves behind. When my hands became cold, I told myself that I was building character.

On these runs, it’s fun to look at what others wear. It’s how I know about ManBearPig on South Park. This time around, I read on the back of someone’s shirt, “Know your limits. Destroy your boundaries.”

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There was chili, bananas, snack bars, and water (of course) at the end. There was more, but I don’t remember since I wasn’t as hungry as I usually am after a race, probably due to having late night chinese takeout hours beforehand.

As for the moderately challenging 16 miler, this was a different story. When I arrived about 45 minutes prior to the start of the race, the first img_20170129_093151parking lot was already full and the second would’ve been full had I arrived 10 minutes later. As I was walking to pick up my bib and swag, I looked down and saw this –>

I had forgotten my running shoes, and all I had to look forward to for the next few hours are blue skies and steep hills, even before the race has begun.

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This was a hilly course with a number of horse farms to gaze at along the way, even at the start. About a mile along the way, one runner jokingly asking, “Does it only go up?” because we had been running uphill for a while.

Because the course could’ve been closed at the organizers’ discretion after 3 hours, 3 hours and under was my goal. I was feeling okay at the 5 mile mark, but I realized I wasn’t going to make it to my time goal at the 10 mile mark timer. Even if the course were closed, even if I was the last one, I wanted to finish.

There were stretches along the way where I was the only one, and every so often there’d be a volunteer gesturing me towards the right direction and even providing how far I have to go. The last 1.5 miles felt the longest, but I made it (!). The food afterwards was replenishing with chili, chowder, hummus-filled veggie sandwiches, milk, yogurt, bananas,  and water. The best perk at the end of the race is the 5-10 minute massage you can sign up for. If you came towards the end like I did, it’s best to eat and then sign up for the massage. By the end, I felt the massage even resting my legs on the foam roller.

Longest run of 15.9 miles now shows up on my Google Fit app. Oh yes, I definitely walked up some steep hills. After all, I’m human, too.

Live by your hopes, not your fears.
—Tavis Smiley, 50 for Your Future

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Reflections

Starting Off on the Right Foot

Posted on by Anita Shero

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Happiness guru Gretchen Rubin, the best-selling author of Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Life and The Happiness Project, wrote a timely piece about helping to keep to your new year’s resolutions through a one-word theme. Specifically, “choose one word, or a short phrase, to sum up what we want to focus on for the new year.” Her word for 2017 is repurpose. Mine? It’s rituals.

Why Rituals?

Many people set (new) goals during the new year, and it’s said a majority of them also never truly achieve them. That’s in part because there’s more to simply setting a goal— we also have to set ourselves up for success in achieving this goal, whether it’s ensuring that our goals are SMART or that they’re in line with our values. This one-word theme of rituals is my way of setting myself up for success.

Rituals are about my way of life, whereas words like commitment and discipline can have a black and white view of whether I’ve failed to meet expectations. So here’s my way of integrating a new routine in my daily life:

  • I will spend at least 15 minutes meditating daily by reciting the mantras I’ve accumulated  or watching youtube videos  or taking a kundalini yoga class at the gym.
  • I will set a calendar reminder to log my weight every week.

These goals don’t have anything to do with being a shero… or do they?

What I’m asking of myself at this time is to become more aware and be in the present. I want to ground myself with a solid foundation where other goals and desires can fall into place. By not living in the moment, I’d be living like a chicken with its head cut off. I can’t be a shero if I’m not living intentionally — am I right?

Why 15 minutes? I figure, if I can take time to brush my teeth for a few minutes each day, I can certainly wake up 15 minutes earlier or sleep 15 minutes later (if I happen to sleep in) to fit in this new ritual. Plus, I want to start with something small. For someone who only started paying attention to my own health, I’m fine with taking baby steps.

A tiny change today brings a dramatically different tomorrow.
— Richard Bach

Cheers to a new year!

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